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Found a link to this while reading through the prompts on
queer_fest (attached to a couple of prompts about Glorfindel that made me pause). Turns out it's a pretty condensed (and referenced <3) guide to Tolkien's thoughts on Elf-sex.
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Same! I have a few of the HoME, but I need to read through them properly.
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I know! I own Morgoth's Ring but I was reading that essay going 'this was in there? Really? Oh...' It kind of encouraged me to dig it out again.