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Author: Evandar (yamievandar / hikarievandar)
Fandom: Death Note
Pairing: Mello/Near
Rating: PG-13
100Songs Prompt: # 23 Echo by Trapt
My Table: Three
Warnings: Shonen-ai, very mild spoilers
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or the song Echo by Trapt. I am making no money from the writing and distribution of this Fic.
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
(Asking why?)
It was selfish and Mello knew it as he shoved articles of clothing untidily into a back pack, ignoring the pale form of Near standing in the doorway. Near hadn’t said anything, but he didn’t need to: the weight of his pale gaze was enough. Mello’s anger at Near and Roger and L – why did he have to die? – had faded and he was more angry at himself than anyone else.
“You don’t have to leave,” Near said finally.
“Go away Near,” Mello snapped.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Near shrug but he didn’t leave. The pale boy was fiddling with something in his pocket. Mello scowled and shoved another T-Shirt into his bag. Why couldn’t he have said “yes” to working with Near? Why couldn’t he have kept his mouth shut?
He yanked the zipper closed and turned to leave. Near was still standing in the doorway, his pale green eyes still watching, still staring, and for a second Mello didn’t know whether to punch him or kiss him. Near pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it out to Mello. Mello paused before taking it, wrapping his fingers around Near’s smaller hand. Near smiled at him and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Mello’s lips.
When he pulled away, his rosary was left in Mello’s hand.
I think about your face
And how I fall into your eyes
Years later, sitting on a leather sofa in a Mafia den, Mello let his fingers travel over the ebony beads. The silver crucifix sparkled in the dim light that shone from the CCTV monitors that nearly covered the opposite wall. He had looked up the prayers that went with the beads on the internet, but they meant nothing to him. It was the rosary that meant something because it had been Near’s, and for a moment, when Near had given it to him, Mello had seen a glimmer of something in Near’s eyes. He hadn’t recognised it then – he had been too swept up in his own turmoil – but if memory served him correctly, it had been a promise. Near, damn him, would welcome him back if he needed it.
The out moment I trace around the one that I call mine
Time to count more space
And be aware that you drew the line
I don't need you to solve this case
And I don't need to look behind
It had been years, and those years had left their mark. Mello stood, hiding his scarred face behind hair and a hood, in the SPK head quarters, every gun in the room trained on him except Near’s – since when had he had a gun, anyway? Near looked tired and paler than usual, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.
“It’s okay,” Near said. “He’s a friend.”
“Am I?” Mello asked quietly. “Still?”
Near shrugged. “You came back, didn’t you?”
Mello sighed and dropped to the floor next to Near. He crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. There was a chink of metal – the rosary was tied round his wrist as a bracelet that day – and the crucifix fell out over the cuff of his jacket. Near’s eyes widened slightly when he saw it, and he reached out to touch the warm silver.
“I’m surprised you kept it,” he murmured.
“As if I could have thrown it away.”
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, By my side
I'll run away with you, By my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
(Asking why?)
Near made sure that L-Kira didn’t know they were working together, and Mello got together a network of old friends and criminals. The members of the SPK watched silently as their numbers grew and wondered if Near knew what he was doing when it came to the strange, scarred Russian boy who had somehow broken in to their base. They knew who he was, but they didn’t know what he meant to Near, and the silence of both boys when it came to that worried them.
For the most part, Mello avoided them, staying by Near’s side among piles of toys, watching as Near used Lego and puzzles to build theory after theory on the Kira case until he fell asleep from exhaustion sometime around two in the morning, only to wake up three hours later. Near was carrying the burden of the case on his shoulders, and it was a harsh reminder of why Mello had gone his own way in the first place.
Do I accept you change, the past I hold inside?
With all the words I say
Repeating over in my mind
Some things you can’t erase
No matter how hard you try
An exit to escape
Is all there is left to find
Mello tried to ignore the inquisitive touches to his scar as he lay in bed. Near’s body was practically unblemished apart from a small birthmark on his left hip that, by some quirk of nature, was the shape of
He wanted to know what Near thought of when he touched it. Did he think of it as payment for Mello’s leaving him? Or did it just remind him of the circumstances that brought them back together again? Mello hated not knowing, but he was afraid to ask, afraid to fake waking up only to see Near flinch away from him.
But in the mornings, when he was left alone to shower, his own fingers would trace the same paths Near’s had over the burned-smooth skin and he would smile. The scar made him look less like a girl, and its presence there was a constant reminder of how he had brought them closer – if only by just a little bit – to catching Kira. For that, it was worth it, no matter how many flinches it caused when people looked at him
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?(Asking why)
For once Mello was happy, and he realised that it was because he wasn’t drowning himself in the effort to become another person. He was happy with his task of keeping Near in one piece; keeping him strong enough to face L-Kira, Takada, and X-Kira. Together they made a perfect team, each relying on the other to keep them alive. Mello thought that if Near hadn’t allowed him this close again then he would have died of boredom a long time ago.
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside
Watari. Mello had decided his real place in the world. When Roger had told them that L had died, he had only seemed concerned with determining which of them would be L’s successor. What he had forgotten was that L could not have existed, would not have been as great, without Watari to guide him through the world. So Mello had decided that since Near was filling L’s place so well, he would fill Watari’s.
He thought that the old man would have approved.
So I,
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
Years passed. Kira was caught, not realising until the last that Mello and Near had been working as a team, and he was killed – his name written down by the very same Shinigami he had received the Death Note from. Mello thought it was a fitting end, but he didn’t voice his opinion – he knew that Near knew what he was thinking without needing to hear it.
What Mello hadn’t expected was Near’s sudden decision to leave the spotlight and return to the Wammy House. Mello went back too, if only to keep the younger boy company. Roger had flinched at the sight of his face, but had welcomed him back as if he hadn’t ever stormed out of the building and into the rain all those years ago. He had offered to pay for plastic surgery to reduce the scarring, but Mello had refused, if only because of the horrified look he had seen – just a moment’s glimpse – on Near’s face at the thought.
“I like it,” he had said, not mentioning that Near did too.
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside
Mello sat at Near’s side on the plane to
The woman on his side was holding a toddler in her arms, having got him out of his seat across the aisle as soon as they had been allowed to release their seatbelts. The child was staring at Mello’s scar – having pointed it out loudly to his mother and been scolded a few minutes earlier – and it was becoming quite disconcerting.
A toy plane appeared just under his nose and Mello bit it gently, glancing sideways to see Near frown at his actions. He let the younger tug it away, noting that Near didn’t wipe at it with his sleeve in an attempt to clean Mello off it – it would have been useless anyway, since he had insisted on wearing one of the T-Shirts Mello slept in for travelling that day.
“Go to sleep,” Mello murmured softly.
“Hm,” Near replied, making himself comfortable on Mello’s shoulder once more. Mello lifted a hand to pet Near’s soft white hair gently, soothing him to sleep in minutes. He knew better than to try and take the toy plane out of Near’s hand as that would wake him up in an instant. Instead he just ignored its presence just as he was ignoring the toddler, who was currently asking his mother how Mello got his scar.
It was getting easier for him to ignore things now. He supposed that it was because Near was rubbing off on him; at least in return he was making Near more emotional. He smiled more freely now, and Mello thought that it was worth setting aside his pride and returning to Near if only because to see those smiles when they were directed at him, and feel Near’s warm breath on his neck and cheek when he slept: a reminder that he was one of the few people Near had ever trusted enough to take care of him in such a vulnerable state. It had been worth it, just as his scar had been worth the information they had got about Kira, and so Mello wore his wounded pride just as proudly.
