evandar: (Red Ribbon)
Title: Three Years
Author: Evandar (yamievandar / hikarievandar)
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Very, very mild NaruSasu and NaruSai
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Blink-and-you'll-miss-it shonen-ai, swearing and an obsessive Naruto
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I am making no profit from this story.
Summary: Naruto's had three years to think about Sasuke.
AN: This was written for [livejournal.com profile] starfreckled on the [livejournal.com profile] naruto_wishlist community.




He'd had three years to think about it. Three whole years of training and keeping Jiraiya from being beaten up for peeping too many times – hell, the old pervert couldn’t train him if he was too badly injured – and thinking. About Sakura. About his promise. About Sasuke.



…Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke…




Uzumaki Naruto thought a lot more than people gave him credit for.


His need to get Sasuke back was irrational, he knew that. Sasuke hadn’t been all that great of a team mate. After all, it’s hard to see the good side of someone after they’ve driven their fist through your chest.


But he had to do it. Sasuke – for all his faults – had been his team mate. His friend, even. Sasuke had admitted to that himself. And Sakura…Sakura wanted Sasuke back too. Needed it. Needed him. She’d made him promise, and for all her faults, Sakura was a better team mate than Sasuke had ever been. She hadn’t tried to kill him – not seriously, anyway – and she had never betrayed him. She hadn’t betrayed the team. The village. Hadn’t up and left because of Orochimaru.


He’d had three years to think about Sasuke and Sakura and Orochimaru.



…Damn snake obsessed bastard…




He’d come to wonder, had Sasuke ever cared about them? They’d known that his dream was to kill someone – his brother, Itachi; the murderer of his clan – but they’d thought…Naruto had thought that he’d come to like them in a way. Maybe.


To throw that all away was unforgivable. But Naruto had promised to bring Sasuke back to Konoha. He’d promised. Sworn it.


What good would he be as a Hokage if he couldn’t do that?


What good was he as a friend if he couldn’t keep that promise?


If he failed, wouldn’t that mean that he was just as bad a team mate as Sasuke had been for leaving?


If he gave up, then wouldn’t that mean he was abandoning Sasuke just like Sasuke had abandoned them?



…Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke…




He’d had three years to wish that things were as simple as he’d thought they’d been when he’d been younger.



…Sasuke, you bastard…




Returning to Konoha had been hard. It was…empty without Sasuke. Somehow. His absence was obvious, especially among the Rookie Nine – not that they were rookies anymore. They weren’t quite right without him.



…How could you do this?...




“He’s definitely very vulgar… But don’t you think he resembles Sasuke somewhat? His face, his voice…”


Sakura had said that after their first team meeting as the new Team Seven. He’d denied it immediately. There was no way that Sai was like Sasuke. No way at all. Sasuke was better. Sasuke wasn’t such a dick. Sasuke didn’t have that irritating fake smile that made Naruto want to scream.


But the longer he thought about it, the longer it stayed with him. And the longer it stayed with him, the more he came to realise that Sakura had been right. She hadn’t been known as the smartest kunoichi of their year for no reason. He was like Sasuke. He was all fragile and twisted, like shards of glass in a paper bag, barely holding himself together. They even looked alike: pretty pale features, slim figures, and deep black eyes framed with long, girly lashes.


But there were differences. Sai was as emotionless as Sasuke had tried to be. He wasn’t caught up in hatred and ambition. And he tried. It took Naruto a while to notice – Sai’s attempts to develop a personality after what that asshole Danzou did to him made him a bit of an ass – but he really, truly tried. He studied books to tell him how to be an actual person, and when that didn’t work he studied people. It was, in Naruto’s opinion, pretty endearing, despite how irritating he could be.


Sasuke had never tried. He hadn’t cared. He’d wanted to be stronger.


Sai wanted to be a team.



…Bastard…




Slowly, slowly, Naruto began to trust him. He began to believe in him. He began to give Sai pointers, treat him to ramen every so often. He became his friend.


He started to like him.


But still, hanging over their growing friendship – or whatever else it was that was growing between them – was the absence of Sasuke. Sometimes when Naruto looked at Sai, he saw Sasuke in his place, solemn and weary and broken. Sometimes they looked too much alike, and he would see Sasuke reflected in Sai’s black eyes, the curve of his lips or the pallor of his skin.



…Too much too much too much…Why did you do this? Why why why why why why why?...




Sakura never mentioned the similarities again. She didn’t have to. Sometimes Naruto caught her flinching slightly when Sai spoke up, and it wasn’t always because he was about to say something tactless. He really did sound like Sasuke. Less emotional, perhaps, but he did sound like him.


Naruto wondered if the similarities were deliberate. If Sai had been chosen for their team to remind them of what they had lost.


If he had been placed with them to redeem them.


…Why did you do this to us, Sasuke you bastard?...




He’d had three years to think of nothing but Sasuke and training and Sasuke and Sakura and Sasuke and promises and Sasuke and Orochimaru and Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke…


Three long, tiring years to think about what it meant to dedicate his life to save someone.


At first he wanted Sasuke back because, damn it, Sasuke was his friend. His team mate. Sakura’s team mate. Then it had been about his promise to Sakura. Sasuke…he’d stopped mattering as much. Then, three years after he’d first set out with Jiraiya; three years after their world had gone to hell, he had been given Sai. They had been given Sai.



…Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai…




He was so, so like Sasuke, but at the same time he was completely different. The personality he began – so, so slowly – to develop was completely different from Sasuke’s. He wasn’t moody, treacherous and smothered by hatred. He was loyal, calm, irritating.



…Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai…




Uzumaki Naruto had had three years to think about the real reason why he wanted to bring Sasuke back to Konoha. He still wanted it. He wanted to break Sasuke’s pretty, pale face and drag him back to Konoha because – damn it – he was tired of living in Sasuke’s oppressive absence. He wanted to move on, be a proper team mate to Sai and Sakura, and if he had to bring Sasuke back to do it then he would.
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