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Title: Something...Old
Author: Evandar (yamievandar / hikarievandar)
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: T
Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Swearing, yaoi...not nmuch else, really.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I am making no profit from this story.
Summary: Four Akatsuki ficlets based on the old marriage rhyme.
AN: OMFG I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING! *dies* Apparently backpacking round New Zealand and endless hours of boredom sitting on a bus filled with other (more hungover) backpackers is kind of inspiring. Or something. Yeah.
Also, this works with my head canon way better than with anything Kishimoto actually wrote about either of these characters (which, to be fair, wasn't much). So there.
The people closest to them often wondered why they didn’t just get married. Hidan really had no idea why. For a group of S-ranked criminals, the Atatsuki seemed oddly traditional in their views of romance. Except, it seemed, for him and Kakuzu. Truthfully, before they had joined Akatsuki and their associates had started mentioning it, marriage hadn’t really crossed either of their minds. It didn’t exist in Jashinism – and really, when you were immortal, ‘til death do you part’ took on a whole new meaning – and it was too expensive for Kakuzu to even contemplate.
And Hidan had to agree with him on that one. Who needed a piece of paper to tell them what they’d known for decades? (Not that Hidan would admit it was decades, just for the sake of his vanity. Officially, he was twenty one. He’d just been twenty one for a very long time.)
“It would be romantic, un,” Deidara informed him over breakfast one morning – one of the few mornings, thankfully, that Hidan and Kakuzu were even present at the main Akatsuki base.
Hidan glared at him over his morning coffee. It was nasty cheap shit – chosen by Kakuzu, of course – with enough caffeine to give someone a heart attack. It did the job, but Hidan wasn’t sure that he wanted to wake up if this was going to be his first conversation of the day.
Kakuzu just ignored the comment, and hid himself behind the financial pages of the morning paper and snared a piece of toast with some of his threads. Hidan just wished he could do the same, but his complete disregard for all things monetary had been well noted several times over and so left him without an excuse.
“Marriage, I mean, un,” Deidara said, as if Hidan hadn’t already figured out what he was going on about.
“Uhuh,” Hidan grunted. He turned his attention back to his coffee. He didn’t put much stock in romance. Never had. Who cared about flowers and chocolates when what was important was if your partner cared enough to stitch your limbs back on after a fight? Sure, they didn’t act all mushy – the thought of Kakuzu being in the slightest bit chivalrous was hilarious – but that didn’t mean shit.
They’d been together since before Deidara’s grandparents had been born. Obviously, something was working despite the lack of paperwork to prove it.
“I can’t believe you didn’t look into it,” Deidara continued. Next to him, Kisame closed his eyes and shook his head and continued eating his rice ball – he, at least, had figured out that there was nothing that could be said to change Hidan’s – or Kakuzu’s – mind. “Are you scared of commitment or something, un?”
Hidan stared at him. He wasn’t sure what threw him the most about that question. That seventy-plus years of monogamy didn’t scream of commitment to Deidara, or the fact that he was receiving relationship advice from someone who hadn’t even noticed that “idiot” and “worthless hack” were code for “adorable” and “sweetheart” in Sasori-speak.
His silence was taken as confirmation, apparently, because Deidara nodded as though he had been proved right. “So why don’t you just move on, already. Find someone else. You’re not going anywhere.”
The suggestion that he find someone other than Kakuzu – there had never been anyone other than Kakuzu, not that he’d admit it out loud – jolted him out of his disbelieving stupor. “The fuck you say?” he demanded, straightening in his chair. His grip on his mug snapped the handle off, driving tiny shards of porcelain into his palm.
There was a rustle of paper as Kakuzu decided to actually pay attention.
“There’s no fear of commitment,” Kakuzu said, slowly and calmly as if he were talking to a small child – as if Kakuzu ever spoke to small children. “We just don’t need, or want, to fork out an exorbitant amount of money for something so redundant.”
“So shut the fuck up about it already,” Hidan said.
He snagged Kakuzu’s coffee mug as a replacement for his own. Kakuzu just went back to his paper, muffling his half-hearted grumble of “moron” behind lists of numbers and news of Fire Country’s various successes.
Hidan hid his grin behind the porcelain rim. “Heathen fucker,” he muttered back.
It was the little things that mattered.
Author: Evandar (yamievandar / hikarievandar)
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: T
Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Swearing, yaoi...not nmuch else, really.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I am making no profit from this story.
Summary: Four Akatsuki ficlets based on the old marriage rhyme.
AN: OMFG I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING! *dies* Apparently backpacking round New Zealand and endless hours of boredom sitting on a bus filled with other (more hungover) backpackers is kind of inspiring. Or something. Yeah.
Also, this works with my head canon way better than with anything Kishimoto actually wrote about either of these characters (which, to be fair, wasn't much). So there.
The people closest to them often wondered why they didn’t just get married. Hidan really had no idea why. For a group of S-ranked criminals, the Atatsuki seemed oddly traditional in their views of romance. Except, it seemed, for him and Kakuzu. Truthfully, before they had joined Akatsuki and their associates had started mentioning it, marriage hadn’t really crossed either of their minds. It didn’t exist in Jashinism – and really, when you were immortal, ‘til death do you part’ took on a whole new meaning – and it was too expensive for Kakuzu to even contemplate.
And Hidan had to agree with him on that one. Who needed a piece of paper to tell them what they’d known for decades? (Not that Hidan would admit it was decades, just for the sake of his vanity. Officially, he was twenty one. He’d just been twenty one for a very long time.)
“It would be romantic, un,” Deidara informed him over breakfast one morning – one of the few mornings, thankfully, that Hidan and Kakuzu were even present at the main Akatsuki base.
Hidan glared at him over his morning coffee. It was nasty cheap shit – chosen by Kakuzu, of course – with enough caffeine to give someone a heart attack. It did the job, but Hidan wasn’t sure that he wanted to wake up if this was going to be his first conversation of the day.
Kakuzu just ignored the comment, and hid himself behind the financial pages of the morning paper and snared a piece of toast with some of his threads. Hidan just wished he could do the same, but his complete disregard for all things monetary had been well noted several times over and so left him without an excuse.
“Marriage, I mean, un,” Deidara said, as if Hidan hadn’t already figured out what he was going on about.
“Uhuh,” Hidan grunted. He turned his attention back to his coffee. He didn’t put much stock in romance. Never had. Who cared about flowers and chocolates when what was important was if your partner cared enough to stitch your limbs back on after a fight? Sure, they didn’t act all mushy – the thought of Kakuzu being in the slightest bit chivalrous was hilarious – but that didn’t mean shit.
They’d been together since before Deidara’s grandparents had been born. Obviously, something was working despite the lack of paperwork to prove it.
“I can’t believe you didn’t look into it,” Deidara continued. Next to him, Kisame closed his eyes and shook his head and continued eating his rice ball – he, at least, had figured out that there was nothing that could be said to change Hidan’s – or Kakuzu’s – mind. “Are you scared of commitment or something, un?”
Hidan stared at him. He wasn’t sure what threw him the most about that question. That seventy-plus years of monogamy didn’t scream of commitment to Deidara, or the fact that he was receiving relationship advice from someone who hadn’t even noticed that “idiot” and “worthless hack” were code for “adorable” and “sweetheart” in Sasori-speak.
His silence was taken as confirmation, apparently, because Deidara nodded as though he had been proved right. “So why don’t you just move on, already. Find someone else. You’re not going anywhere.”
The suggestion that he find someone other than Kakuzu – there had never been anyone other than Kakuzu, not that he’d admit it out loud – jolted him out of his disbelieving stupor. “The fuck you say?” he demanded, straightening in his chair. His grip on his mug snapped the handle off, driving tiny shards of porcelain into his palm.
There was a rustle of paper as Kakuzu decided to actually pay attention.
“There’s no fear of commitment,” Kakuzu said, slowly and calmly as if he were talking to a small child – as if Kakuzu ever spoke to small children. “We just don’t need, or want, to fork out an exorbitant amount of money for something so redundant.”
“So shut the fuck up about it already,” Hidan said.
He snagged Kakuzu’s coffee mug as a replacement for his own. Kakuzu just went back to his paper, muffling his half-hearted grumble of “moron” behind lists of numbers and news of Fire Country’s various successes.
Hidan hid his grin behind the porcelain rim. “Heathen fucker,” he muttered back.
It was the little things that mattered.
