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So, part of 2016's overwhelming shittiness led to me losing a lot of confidence in fandom. It's not right and it's not fair - there are a huge number of wonderful, supportive, active, and creative people that I know through DW and LJ that I admire deeply, and fannishness is such a huge part of my identity that...it hurt. Being harrassed by some members of fandom on a site that will go unmentioned hurt a lot. Dropping out of fests - including Yuletide - is fucking horrible and I hated doing it, but...I couldn't. I really just couldn't.
I don't want to angst too hard on here because ugh. But yeah, that basically sums up my motivation for participating in![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
snowflake_challenge. There's a hell of a lot of stuff going on in RL that I can't cope with and that needs changing, but I'm taking this as an opportunity to claim a little bit of my fan-identity back for myself.
Day 1: Self Recs
This was so hard. I ended up choosing the works that define me the most as a writer (IMHO). Feel free to disagree!
Hope - Harry Potter - PG-13 - one-sided Regulus/Sirius, mentioned Sirius/Remus - Time Travel AU
Summary: Regulus had a contingency plan going into the cave: if he died, his memories would be sent through time into his fourteen-year-old self. Now in the past, Regulus’ hopes for destroying the Dark Lord depend on persuading his estranged brother to help him.
Notes: REGULUS <3 Angsty/hopeful fic about our favourite redeemable Death Eater. This was written for a very small fest and didn't get overly much attention due to my terrible habit of writing about minor characters like they actually matter, but it's one of the few fics I wrote this year that turned out the way I wanted it to. It's also one of the few fics I've written in the last five years that makes me wish I had any sort of ability to write multi-chapter stories, because I want Regulus to have a happy ending, damn it. Alas.
Painless - The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings - PG-13 to NC-17 - Legolas/Gimli, background Orc/Thranduil - Half-Orc!Legolas!AU, MPreg
Summary: After the Last Alliance, Thranduil found himself pregnant with the child of an Orc. As he struggles to raise Legolas alone and keep his heritage a secret, the line of Oropher begins to crumble under the pressure.
Notes: I will be the first to say that this is fucking weird. Warning: it's fucking weird. It's also very sad. This was spawned by a prompt on the Hobbit Kink Meme quite a long time ago - two of its fics were written for prompts there: the first one worked and the second one went down like the Hindenburg, but I still kept writing it. And kept writing...and it's still not done. Writing Painless is simultaneously one of the most fulfilling and soul-destroying fan projects I've ever been involved with - purely because it requires me to be in a very particular mood to write it, and I'll be exhausted by the end. BUT. I love it.It also gives a neat little glimpse into how my writing has changed in the years that passed between Child of Ruin and Hope and Teeth Like Knives
Charlotte the Great and Powerful - Harry Potter - PG-13 - Sirius/Harry, Barty/Harry, Blaise/Harry, Piers Polkiss/Harry, and Ignotus Peverell/Harry - fem!Harry AU
Summary: Her whole life has been about gaining power through struggle and sacrifice and manipulation of the only thing she has going for her (Charlotte’s a terrible person beneath the pretty face and she knows it).
Charlotte wants to be more than the girl from the cupboard and she's not above using others to gain power.
Notes: This is my most popular Harry Potter story on Ao3 if you go by kudos. It was intended to be a pretty basic 'Five Kisses' type thing and ended up as a low-grade feminist-empowerment thing instead. I think it must be recced somewhere, because I keep on getting waves of notifications on it even though it's now quite old. OH WELL. I posted this fic after my old computer crashed - I was checking through my harddrive to see what was lost (most of everything) and stumbled across a file dated as having been written 1/1/1601, which must have been quite a feat (time travel, yay!) and realised that it was a finished draft of a fic that was intended for a genderswap fest aaaaaaaaages before that had been cancelled due to modly reasons and had, therefore, never been posted. I wasn't sure that I liked my interpretation of girl!Harry when I posted it, but other people seem to - and she's certainly grown on me in the last year and a half.
So that's it! That's my three self-recs. Honorable mentions go to The Kings of the North (The Hobbit;PG-13;Thranduil/Bard), Drunk Love Baby (Harry Potter;NC-17;Sirius/Harry), and The Third Brother (Harry Potter;NC-17;Ignotus Peverell/Albus Dumbledore, Harry/Ginny, Ignotus Peverell/Ginny; TW: Necrophilia) which were all runners up.
I don't want to angst too hard on here because ugh. But yeah, that basically sums up my motivation for participating in
snowflake_challenge. There's a hell of a lot of stuff going on in RL that I can't cope with and that needs changing, but I'm taking this as an opportunity to claim a little bit of my fan-identity back for myself. Day 1: Self Recs
Hope - Harry Potter - PG-13 - one-sided Regulus/Sirius, mentioned Sirius/Remus - Time Travel AU
Summary: Regulus had a contingency plan going into the cave: if he died, his memories would be sent through time into his fourteen-year-old self. Now in the past, Regulus’ hopes for destroying the Dark Lord depend on persuading his estranged brother to help him.
Notes: REGULUS <3 Angsty/hopeful fic about our favourite redeemable Death Eater. This was written for a very small fest and didn't get overly much attention due to my terrible habit of writing about minor characters like they actually matter, but it's one of the few fics I wrote this year that turned out the way I wanted it to. It's also one of the few fics I've written in the last five years that makes me wish I had any sort of ability to write multi-chapter stories, because I want Regulus to have a happy ending, damn it. Alas.
Painless - The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings - PG-13 to NC-17 - Legolas/Gimli, background Orc/Thranduil - Half-Orc!Legolas!AU, MPreg
Summary: After the Last Alliance, Thranduil found himself pregnant with the child of an Orc. As he struggles to raise Legolas alone and keep his heritage a secret, the line of Oropher begins to crumble under the pressure.
Notes: I will be the first to say that this is fucking weird. Warning: it's fucking weird. It's also very sad. This was spawned by a prompt on the Hobbit Kink Meme quite a long time ago - two of its fics were written for prompts there: the first one worked and the second one went down like the Hindenburg, but I still kept writing it. And kept writing...and it's still not done. Writing Painless is simultaneously one of the most fulfilling and soul-destroying fan projects I've ever been involved with - purely because it requires me to be in a very particular mood to write it, and I'll be exhausted by the end. BUT. I love it.
Charlotte the Great and Powerful - Harry Potter - PG-13 - Sirius/Harry, Barty/Harry, Blaise/Harry, Piers Polkiss/Harry, and Ignotus Peverell/Harry - fem!Harry AU
Summary: Her whole life has been about gaining power through struggle and sacrifice and manipulation of the only thing she has going for her (Charlotte’s a terrible person beneath the pretty face and she knows it).
Charlotte wants to be more than the girl from the cupboard and she's not above using others to gain power.
Notes: This is my most popular Harry Potter story on Ao3 if you go by kudos. It was intended to be a pretty basic 'Five Kisses' type thing and ended up as a low-grade feminist-empowerment thing instead. I think it must be recced somewhere, because I keep on getting waves of notifications on it even though it's now quite old. OH WELL. I posted this fic after my old computer crashed - I was checking through my harddrive to see what was lost (most of everything) and stumbled across a file dated as having been written 1/1/1601, which must have been quite a feat (time travel, yay!) and realised that it was a finished draft of a fic that was intended for a genderswap fest aaaaaaaaages before that had been cancelled due to modly reasons and had, therefore, never been posted. I wasn't sure that I liked my interpretation of girl!Harry when I posted it, but other people seem to - and she's certainly grown on me in the last year and a half.
So that's it! That's my three self-recs. Honorable mentions go to The Kings of the North (The Hobbit;PG-13;Thranduil/Bard), Drunk Love Baby (Harry Potter;NC-17;Sirius/Harry), and The Third Brother (Harry Potter;NC-17;Ignotus Peverell/Albus Dumbledore, Harry/Ginny, Ignotus Peverell/Ginny; TW: Necrophilia) which were all runners up.
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Date: 2017-01-03 02:47 am (UTC)From:2016 had so many other reasons to suck, I'm sorry you had crappy people in fandom too. I hope this year is better on all fronts. *hugs*
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Date: 2017-01-04 02:41 am (UTC)From:2016 was an absolute shitstorm of a year. Looking back on it...ugh. Ugh. That said, things on the fandom front are better now that I've taken all of my fic down of the Site That Shall Not Be Named and blocked all PMs from there as well, but it took a serious toll. I'm planning on making this year better. Thank you for your support! <3 *hugs*