evandar: (Change of Heart)
Challenge #10

In your own space, talk about one of your fandom firsts. This could be your first fandom, your first fandom friend, the first fanwork you created, the first fanwork you interacted with... The options are endless! Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.




I've already talked about my first fandoms and my first fandom friend on this challenge so far, so I'm going to go with something else.

My first cosplay.

R and I met at an open day for a sixth form college, but she didn't get in. Her dyslexia meant that she didn't get the mandatory GCSE grades, so she went somewhere else. This was devastating to my baby nerd self because the one nice person my own age that I'd encountered in two years because what did you mean I was being separated from my person???

It took... a while, but I ended up falling in with a group of equally nerdy people who were a lot more confident than me. I introduced them to LJ and to fanfic, and they introduced me to anime conventions. A fair exchange XD

We made plans to head to Glasgow for a con called Auchinawa. It was the first year that the con was running, so tickets were pretty cheap and it was - at the time - a pretty cheap train journey because of how close it is nowadays, you'd probably need to sell your house to buy those train tickets, RIP British rail services. None of that was the issue. The issue, as far as I was concerned, was that my friends all wanted us to cosplay and they wanted us to do a group cosplay and it turned out that none of us were in the same fandoms.

Please remember: at the time, I was incredibly insecure and a people pleaser to an almost insane degree. I hate dressing up because it makes me feel awkward and paranoid about whether anyone else is going to do it and anyway.

TL;DR I lost the argument and ended up cosplaying Orihime from Bleach. At that point, I had never seen Bleach or read it and I kept forgetting my character's name. It was a very, very cheap cosplay and - thankfully - very easily put together and I absolutely hated it. I hated it so much. I would have minded less, in retrospect, if I hadn't been handed that character because "you have massive tits," but since what little backbone I had was dedicated entirely to supporting those tits, I didn't say a word about how utterly fucking miserable I found the entire experience.

So that was my first cosplay. It wasn't my last. I lasted as a cosplayer for far longer than anyone who hates dressing up should, but it was never something that I enjoyed for myself. It was something that I felt like I had to enjoy to be a "proper fan," whatever the fuck that is.

I stopped hanging around with that group of friends when we headed off to university, and I stopped cosplaying on my twenty-first birthday. I went to Katsucon as Konan from Naruto, which was, at least, a costume that I'd decided on and put together myself. That was also my last convention. I attended by myself, attended a workshop on drawing yaoi, and spoke to no one except for vendors. When I got back to my hotel and took off my wig, I knew that I was never doing any of it again. I also knew, thankfully, that no longer cosplaying wouldn't take my fannishness away from me.

Hooray for character growth.

Date: 2025-01-19 06:44 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] muccamukk
muccamukk: Parker eating cereal with enthusiasm. (Leverage: Noms)
they wanted us to do a group cosplay and it turned out that none of us were in the same fandoms.
oh, no.

I would have minded less, in retrospect, if I hadn't been handed that character because "you have massive tits,"
Oh, NO! OMG!

That's awful. I'm glad you were able to decide that you didn't need to be a "proper fan" and are now a fan who has fun not doing stuff they don't like.

Date: 2025-01-19 08:33 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] sarajayechan
sarajayechan: Zuko with a very serious look on his face ([ATLA] Zuko)
if I hadn't been handed that character because "you have massive tits,"

Ugh, RUDE. Your friends were assholes and I'm glad you stopped hanging out with them.

Date: 2025-01-19 11:29 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] majoukoufu
majoukoufu: Raine stares in ruins mode as Sheena examines a ring (Default)
Oh that was awful of them. D: I'm glad you're no longer making yourself participate in ways you don't enjoy!

Date: 2025-01-22 03:29 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] silveradept
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
An unhappy story with a happy end of getting out of doing something that wasn't enjoyable to you, and not hanging around with people who wanted you to cosplay based on chest size rather than anything else. Aie.

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