Mardi Gras Meme

[evandar]

Taken from lynndyre

1. Comment with any character you know I've written.
2. Receive three bits of trivia about their sexuality: practices, preferences, experiences, fantasies, kinks, etc.
3. Profit!

I like the idea of including gen headcanon as well, so that might happen too.

Comments

[lynndyre]

Thranduil! And/or half-orc Legolas.

[evandar]

Thranduil (Book-verse)

1. Thranduil wasn't married to Legolas' mother. He's never wanted to marry anyone. She was a Silvan elf he had a child with because he thought he should have an heir after Oropher died, and while she didn't sail to the West, she didn't help raise Legolas either.

2. Thranduil once saw Sauron across a battlefield and thought he was beautiful. He's never admitted it and never will.

3. He's an aromantic asexual, but if he absolutely had to be with anyone, it would be Elrond.

Painless'verse Bonus: He's never had consensual sex. Even though he intellectually knows better, he expects it to be as painful and damaging as the rape.

Painless'verse Legolas

1. Legolas is waiting for Gimli to change his mind.

2. Legolas enjoys rough sex, but hates it at the same time because he thinks it's another thing that connects him to Orcs. He also hates the thought that he might hurt Gimli by accident, so he refuses to top even though he'd actually like to try it.

3. He hated the way Thranduil would look at him if he ever started to show interest in anyone in Mirkwood, so by the start of the quest, Legolas is still a virgin and completely incapable of flirting. Gimli pretty much took the initiative there.

Generic Bonus: Legolas is dyslexic. There is no basis in any sort of canon or fanon for this, but I feel it in my soul

[lynndyre]

Thranduil - That makes a lot of sense. I love the bit about Sauron, and he and Elrond are fascinating.
(Painless!Thranduil deserves so many unthreatening nonsexual hugs)

Legolas - waah. Also all the hugs. Preferably Gimli and Thranduil hugs.

Dyslexic Legolas is an interesting idea. Probably easier, in some ways, in a society with more oral learning traditions? But an extra thing to worry about in Rivendell, representing Mirkwood.

[evandar]

Hee ~ <3 It's something I can see him being pretty self-conscious about, especially when in Rivendell and surrounded by all these scholarly Elves and Hobbits.

Any others?

[lynndyre]

If he did talk to Elrond about it, maybe he'd have some ideas? (And Gimli can make him tiny perfect purple-lensed spectacles~~ ♥)

Glorfindel, maybe? I love Glorfindel a lot, but I know you've only written him once. If not him, Aziraphale? I got asked Crowley, so they're in my head now. ^.^

[evandar]

I can't remember ever writing Aziraphale, so Glorfindel it is.

Glorfindel

1. He can stomach candles, most of the time, but no flames bigger than that and avoids the Hall of Fire in Rivendell at all costs. He once went in under duress (thanks, Lindir) and had to leave because he thought he was burning again. He has flashbacks to the Balrog quite a lot, particularly the feeling of his armour melting into his flesh, and he wishes that Mandos had taken his memories as well as his scars.

2. He has no idea why he was sent back. Really, no clue, but he likes listening to possible theories.

3. He likes being cold to the point that when it snows he'll go out and roll around and dance on a roof somewhere. His biggest kink is ice-play.

Romance Bonus: He's not, and never has been, in love with Ecthelion. Elladan and Elrohir, however, are another matter entirely.

Crack Bonus: He was the one who started singing "Tra-la-la-lalley" in the trees and he's very, very good at getting people to join in.

[lynndyre]

Crack bonus: Headcanon accepted! The fact that the so-srs-magical-firstborn sit in trees singing utter nonsense at passerby is one of my favourite things in the Hobbit.

Romance bonus - I don't ship him with Ecthelion either, though I know a lot of people do. I don't have an OTP for Glorfindel, but I like the idea of him and Elrond and Erestor. So... threesome in Rivendell either way? ^.^

I like the idea that he doesn't know why he was sent back. And I love things exploring what he'd remember of that final fight. Elven PTSD needs more fic~

[evandar]

Elves are totally not dignified, IMHO. They like to pretend they are, but then they get bored, and they have an eternity to come up with stupid crap. The 'Tra-la-la-lalley' song is one of the best bits because I can just imagine the Dwarves' faces when they hear it. It's Glorfindel's favourite composition.

After the movies, I ship Elrond with Lindir a lot, but I don't really have an OTP/3 for any of the Rivendell Elves. I like the idea of the twins, though, particularly the twins pursuing Glorfindel rather than the other way round. Threesomes of any kind in Rivendell are always good ^.^

Sooooooooo much more fic. Hmmm...

[lynndyre]

Mmm, yeah, movie!Elrond and Lindir would be neat, I don't think I've read anything with them yet.

Anything you wanted to write with Glorfindel, I'd definitely read!

[evandar]

I'm pretty sure I can work Glorfindel into at least one of my bingo cards ^.^ He was fun to write last time I tried.

There were a couple of prompts for Elrond/Lindir on the kink meme, but I don't know if they ever got filled. I've read a few fics with them as a couple on AO3 and they were wonderful, but like I said, there's no absolute ship for any of the Rivendell Elves here.

[evandar]

Purple-lensed spectacles yesssssssssssss ~<3 Maybe Elrond would have ideas, but I think Legolas has been raised to feel like the Elves of Imladris and Lorien think themselves more superior to those of Mirkwood and he doesn't want to let his people down even more in their eyes.

He'll probably have to tell Gimli one day.

[evandar]

Extra Painless'verse Legolas Bonus: He likes to eat spiders. This includes the giant spiders of Mirkwood because he has an Orc's resilience to tainted meat, but for the most part he'll just snatch one out of a bush while passing. They're not always dead by the time he swallows.

[lynndyre]

Neat! And can he eat lembas and so on, as well? That's actually a fairly useful adaptation, then, if he can live on basically anything. Can he eat the non-dark-creature poisonous kind, too?

Though, wow, that would disturb Thranduil so badly, if his little baby is smiling at him with crunchy spider legs stuck in his fangs. On the other hand, Gimli's probably 'Legolas, there's a redback nesting in my tool rack, want a snack?'

[evandar]

He can eat anything, venomous or not, including lembas. He's essentially the ultimate omnivore, which really does come in handy when you're on a quest with limited supplies and four Hobbits.

I like to think that Silvan Elves would eat edible spiders (along with grubs and insects) as a general whole and that that's where he picked it up from, but that he doesn't have to fuss over figuring out which ones are safe, but yeah. Thranduil wouldn't exactly appreciate it - especially if he knew that some of the spiders were still alive at the time. Gimli? Yeah, he'd just go with it. He's very laid back, is our Gimli.

[lynndyre]

Yeah, you're right, the Silvan elves would eat edible insects. Good point!